Servant Leadership: What Mister Rogers Taught Me
The key to effective communication is asking the right questions. After a speaking engagement many years ago, I was asked, “Byrd, when did you find clarity in your life?” In other words, this man was asking, “When did you finally get it?” My answer to him is the essence of this article. I finally “got it” when I realized that life was not about me.
The “old Byrd” had a double dose of EGO. It was all about me, and my destructive lifestyle was dedicated to achieving personal success at the expense of significance. My relationships with my wife and children were shallow at best, as I treated perfect strangers better than my family. I was a full-fledged perfectionist and focused on others’ weaknesses (especially my family’s) versus building on their strengths. I was climbing the corporate ladder, determined to make it to the top. Things were looking great in 1990; comfortable executive job, beautiful home, nice cars, etc., etc., etc.… That’s when my “controlled life” took an unexpected and unwelcome detour. I was called into a meeting and asked to resign from my “comfortable” executive position. My reaction was one of anger and “why me?” Up until then, I didn’t get it, as life was all about me – I was totally absorbed with self. I suddenly realized that “into self is a very lonely place.” In retrospect, this crucible was the turning point – a true epiphany – in my life. The transformation began once I realized that serving others was the most fulfilling purpose.
My journey since 1990 has been one of miracles and blessings. After thirteen jobs, seven careers, and fourteen moves, I found my true calling as a professional speaker and author. Once I got out of self and into others – change of focus from “me” to “we” – the rewards have been unbelievable. My speaking career flourished, and I wrote 15 books on the topics of sales, customer service, leadership and motivation. This unexpected success was totally the result of dedicating my life to pleasing God by living a life of complete integrity and serving others by helping them become more authentic leaders at home and work.
My passion is helping organizations develop great leaders. I have studied the lives of great leaders like Tom Landry, Herb Kelleher, Mary Kay Ash, John Wooden, Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, and Mister Rogers. It is my observation that the most effective leaders (you and I included) have dedicated their lives to serving others. I am sure you will agree that Mister Rogers was a great role model – not just for children but for adults as well – and there is wisdom in his words. I would like to share the following quotes from his inspirational book, The World According to Mister Rogers:
“It’s not the honors and the prizes and the fancy outsides of life which will ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock of our being is good stuff.”
“The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing, and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.”
“Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life’s important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”
“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
“Life is for service.”
It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s all about being a part of something greater than self. We become effective leaders when, like Mister Rogers, our actions inspire others to dream, risk, believe, and achieve. And remember, the fruit of service is, in the end, a life of significance.
Keep smiling and serving!
TG Takeaway: Humility is the lifeblood of servant leadership.